September 29, 2020

My own personal wailing wall

“The journal has always been a story catcher, a worry catcher, pattern catcher.” — Ahava Shira

The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem

Lately I’ve been thinking about a character in the book The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. One of the players in the story is a black woman named May Boatright who lives in South Carolina in the 1960s. May is deeply sensitive and has a hard time existing in a world where there is so much pain and violence.

She lives with her two sisters and they build a wailing wall for May, just like the one in Jerusalem. May writes down her anguish on pieces of paper and wedges them into cracks in that wall. Somehow, it helps May cope with her sadness.

No empty cracks

If I had a wailing wall right now, there probably wouldn’t be any empty cracks. I would already have stuffed every one with notes about all the chaos, anger, death and fear I see in the world. I feel like May – it almost hurts too much to pay attention to what’s going on around me.

As a result, I’ve cut way back on my news consumption, and that’s saying a lot for a woman who spent 12 years in the news business. I’ve got ink in my veins; staying informed is part of my DNA.

But right now, the world is too much for me to handle. I can only take it in small doses. And I’m almost grateful that I’m being told to cocoon for as long as I can.

My trusty friend

Even though I don’t have my own personal wailing wall, I do have a trusty spiral notebook – my ever-present friend The Journal. And writing down my feelings in it feels like a kind of relief from the madness.

When I write in my journal I do many things. I pray, figure things out, listen to my inner voice and dump whatever darkness there is inside me onto the page.

It is my hope that among many things, your journal can be your own personal wailing wall. That the mere act of writing down your pain and confusion will soften the blows of living in this time of pandemic, strife and division.

 

Writing spark

Imagine that your journal is your own wailing wall. Take 10 minutes and write about one thing that’s troubling you right now. As Tristine Rainer says, write fast, write everything and accept what comes. When you’re done, notice how you feel. If you need to write more on the subject, do so.

Until next week, stay well, be kind and keep writing.

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